Six ways to combat night time anxiety
I am well versed in the different ways anxiety impacts a child’s sleep. My middle child suffers greatly from anxiety, as do I. I am on medication for mine, but that is not a healthy or needed option for my five year old right now. I know it’s up to me to find amazing ways to help her cope, which in turn, helps me as well. Helping her cope helps her sleep better, which as we know, helps her have better performance at school, develop emotionally, and be less likely to act out.
Anxiety in kids can manifest in many different ways, depending on the personality of the child. Some kids have outbursts when the plans change suddenly without warning, or have fits of hyperactivity/laughter/silliness followed by a massive meltdown. I have seen (thanks mostly to Covid) my kids now find large crowds give them anxiety. This manifests as extreme shyness, holding onto mom's legs, asking to leave repeatedly, waking up with nightmares, and more.
Here are some things we do in our house to combat anxiety and help our kiddos sleep better.
1. Talk to a worry girl (or boy).
She is this little child inside of you that is ALWAYS worried, we just have to talk to her. Ex: "Hi worry girl. Yeah, we know...you're worried again. This time you are worried about your new school, huh? Well, don't worry, worry girl. Mommy already took me there for a playdate and I met my teacher and I am going to have a great time. You can stop worrying now, we are ok!!"
Just saying the worry out loud and naming it eases the worry immensely.
2. Special time
This is especially helpful if you have more than one kiddo. Special time is one on one time with your child, in their world, on the floor, with them directing the play. This is not out to lunch with mommy, or a movie night. Special time consists of you and your kid, on the floor of their room, playing dolls, or legos etc. No phones, no other friends or kids. I secretly set a timer for 20 mins because, honestly, who has time for this. BUT I find my middle child has so much more confidence and independence afterwards. Her teachers even noticed once after we had been doing it consecutively for 2 weeks!
3. Meditation
I taught my girls how to meditate, four square breathing to be specific, and we do this for about three to five minutes everyday. It's about making meditation a practice so when they get upset, calming breathing becomes a behavior, and it feels normal to start doing your breathing exercises!
4. Worry jars
Piggy backing off the worry girl, we have a worry jar. At night I write down my daughter's worries on sticky notes and we put them in the jar so they can stay in there, not her head.
5. Occupational therapy
Occupational Therapy is another route that helped our family. You will likely need a referral from your pediatrician. My daughter looks forward to our sessions and I get the opportunity to learn about her while watching her work with the therapist. She lets my daughter make a visual schedule for the hour: some big energy play, some games, some reading, all focused on what she needs to work on that week. To help manage her anxiety, she learns skills like taking turns, knowing when it’s time to stop playing, what to do when you’re not getting to do what you want, and learning interactions by reading books on how other people feel..
6. Prioritize sleep behavior and routine
Lastly, yes, anxiety affects sleep but lack of sleep creates anxiety. It's a vicious cycle. I find my kids can handle more stress when they are rested, but that's a hard thing to get done if your kiddo is not a "good" sleeper. First, focus on that good night sleep and what helps them relax. Your child might need a night light, melatonin producing activities, weighted blanket (age/weight appropriate of course), to move their room closer to yours, less screen time before bed, less sugar, sound machines, etc. There are a multitude of ways to work on the sleep factor which will dial down the intensity of the anxiety.
We have a new class!
If you’re expecting, you might be interested in our new maternity sleep class!
Did you know that not getting enough sleep during pregnancy can actually affect your baby’s sleep patterns once they are born? That’s one of the reasons why prioritizing sleep during pregnancy is so important! In this class we teach you how to prioritize your own sleep during pregnancy as you lead up to the arrival of your little one + some tips on how to set up your baby with healthy habits in the 4th trimester.
If you’d like more tips on helping your little one sleep better, read the following blogs from the team here at My Sweet Sleeper:
The truth about melatonin and sleep supplements to help your child sleep
The dos and don’ts for your baby’s bedtime routine
Family Fun and Screen Free Bedtime Tips
How to get your child sleeping on a schedule
How to follow your baby’s awake windows for better sleep
Five reasons your baby is waking so much at night
