How to handle toddler wakings in the middle of the night.

Nov 29

It has been a long day entertaining your energetic and curious toddler. You finally get them down, you’ve brushed their teeth, you’ve put on jammies, you’ve got the water, and you read the book. It’s finally lights out, and despite your desire to steal a little “me time,” your exhaustion drives you to bed, where you fall asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow.

A gentle pat on your arm awakens you to the sight of your toddler standing next to your bed. It’s 2 am, and your kiddo is up…again. You thought you had this sleep thing mastered. What’s going on?

You are not alone; toddlerhood brings many challenges, including frequent night wakings.

Here, we break down how to handle toddler wakings in the middle of the night so you can successfully navigate this developmental stage with your little one.

Why toddlers wake up at night

Understandably, parents feel frustrated and confused when their toddler starts waking up at night. You’ve been through the battleground of infant sleep, endured countless sleepless nights, and thought you had finally conquered the quest for a full night’s sleep. Parents expect night wakings in the first year but can be unprepared for the sleep disruption that toddlerhood can bring.

Although frustrating, it is developmentally normal for your little one to wake up at night. One study found that nearly 30% of 2-year-olds still had frequent night awakenings. With that said, there can be specific reasons that contribute to interrupted sleep during the toddler years.

Pediatric obstructive sleep apnea – is a sleeping disorder that causes temporary pauses in breathing that wake your child up. Look out for symptoms such as loud snoring, pauses in breathing, and behavioral changes. If you have any concerns, seek help from a medical professional.

Teething – Your little one’s molars and canine teeth typically appear during toddlerhood and can cause considerable pain that may wake them at night.

Illness – Toddlers have a remarkable ability to pick up a diverse array of viruses (and kindly share them with you). When your little one is feeling under the weather, it is normal for them to seek extra comfort from you throughout the night.

Anxiety – Your kiddo is constantly processing the world around them, and unfortunately, they are not immune to stress. Children often develop fears at this stage and may experience nightmares and night terrors that disrupt their sleep. A toddler suffering from separation anxiety may also wake frequently for reassurance and comfort.

What to do if your toddler is waking up in the middle of the night

Sleep is crucial for you and your toddler. So, it is no wonder that frequent night awakenings can leave you and your little one feeling cranky and tense. Regardless of the reason behind your toddlers waking, the goal is to help them learn how to regulate and fall back to sleep.

Here are some steps to follow to help your little one do this.

Pause before intervening

If your little one cries out for you in the middle of the night, wait a few moments to see if they will fall back asleep on their own. Often going in immediately can interrupt your toddler’s process of regulating. However, if your kiddo continues to display a level of distress, check on them and provide reassurance.

Provide reassurance

The goal is to help your toddler learn how to go back to sleep independently, so offer gentle reassurance, such as patting them on the back, and simple communication like “it’s okay, you are safe” or “I’m here, time to go back to sleep” Once your little one has calmed down, try and leave the room before or once they have fallen asleep.

Consistency is key

When you are struggling with night-time wakings, it can be tempting to bring your little one into bed with you “for just one night” to get some sleep. However, if you are not interested in co-sleeping long term, this can confuse your toddler as they try to learn sleep expectations and boundaries. As tough as it may be, sticking to a routine of providing gentle reassurance will pay off in the long term.

How to help your toddler sleep peacefully

Sleep is a developmental process for your toddler, and while night awakenings are normal, there are things you can do to improve their sleep hygiene.

Bedtime routine – Research shows that children who follow a consistent bedtime routine fall asleep faster and wake up less during the night.

Sleep environment – Make sure your toddler’s room is conducive to sleep. For example, provide a dark environment with minimal distractions and ensure your little one is comfortable and appropriately dressed for the temperature.

Limit screen time – The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends no screen time for children until 18 – 24 months and a maximum of 1 hour per day for kids aged 2 to 5 years. The blue light emitted by the screen can inhibit your toddler’s production of melatonin (the body’s sleepy hormone) and impact their sleep quality. Instead of screen time, engage your child in reading books or playful activities.

Manage naps effectively – If your little one is napping late into the afternoon, they may not be tired enough to fall asleep at night. Likewise, if your toddler isn’t getting enough rest during the day, they may become overtired and have trouble unwinding at bedtime.

Tried everything?

Learning how to handle toddler wakings in the middle of the night can be frustrating. Every child is different–a strategy that works with one kiddo may fall flat with another. If you feel you have tried everything to get your toddler to sleep independently and are still experiencing that gentle tap on the arm at 2 am, reach out for help.

At My Sweet Sleeper, we understand that every child is unique, so we offer one-on-one personalized coaching after thoroughly assessing your little one’s personality and family circumstances. If DIY is a little more your style, check-out our toddler sleep class, which covers everything from how to manage early risings, night wakings, short naps, and everything in between.

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