Three ways your emotions can impact your baby's sleep.
While babies are learning to adjust to life outside the womb, moms are likely to find themselves adjusting to their new life too, which can often bring frustration, insecurity, anxiety, and stress.
Even for experienced moms, it may be difficult to manage their emotions while trying to keep little human beings alive.
When those emotions arise, they can be transferred to your child and affect their sleep. It is important to understand that the sleep patterns of infants and mothers evolve together in a reciprocal relationship, and, therefore, sleep issues can result from these mutual interactions between mother and baby.
Here are three ways your emotions may be impacting your baby’s sleep:
1. Your body language
Infants respond to their parents’ interactions and it is common to find your baby chasing your eye contact as a way to hold your attention. When this interaction happens and you are experiencing negative emotions, your little one can easily sense them and have them transferred to them. The good news is that we can adjust our behaviors as we interact with our children and get to know them.
2. The way you hold, bounce, or touch your baby
A loving touch can do wonders to a baby who just came into this new world. It will not only soothe your little one but also help a baby reduce the stress they may be experiencing. It is believed that, when exposed to the opposite (an anxious or restless touch), babies may have their sleep and well-being affected. This is because the way you hold your baby can also impact his sense of security.
How you move while you hold your baby in your arms also affects their ability to focus calmly and relax. Sometimes your baby may seem distressed by an embrace that feels natural to you, but it doesn’t mean they are rejecting you. The truth is, all human being perceive stimuli very differently.
3. If you are a first-time mom with a history of anxiety
Recent research has shown that primiparous mothers with anxiety disorders may be more prone to anxious misinterpretations of crying and feeding situations leading to an escalation of mother-infant interactions.
The relation between maternal depression and infant sleeping problems may be better explained by the transmission of unsettled maternal sleep to the fetus during pregnancy, or a lack of daily structure and bedtime routine with the infant.
Here are some things we do to combat anxiety and reset our emotions in the face of a crying baby:
Take a break
It’s essential to recognize our own boundaries and when it’s time to reset. If your baby is crying and you feel overwhelmed, take a break! Hand the baby to his father or a reliable person, and go have some quiet time, even if for 5 minutes.
If you don’t have anyone else to give you this assistance, place the baby in a safe space, like their crib, and take the opportunity to wash your face and drink fresh water. What helps me the most is to shut my eyes for a moment, and take a deep breath while I try to reset my emotions.
You can do that until you feel ready to attempt handling your little one’s cry again.
Get as much sleep as possible
We can’t stress enough how anxiety affects sleep but lack of sleep creates anxiety too. We must give ourselves a chance to prioritize sleep, even if it means a mid-day nap while the baby naps.
This is probably one of the most frequent pieces of advice you hear when close to delivering your baby: sleep when the baby sleeps. Yes, I hear you! It is not easy to choose sleep over a long shower or any of the house chores on your to-do list when this is the only time you have. However, if you are struggling with anxiety and frustration and it interferes with your child’s sleep, prioritizing your own sleep will be the optimal solution for you and your little one while you live through this rough period.
Progressive muscle relaxation
If you want to learn to calm your anxiety, manage your nervous system, and relax, progressive muscle relaxation is a self-care tool that can take you there. This is an essential skill for moms as it typically takes less than ten minutes of your precious time. By practicing this technique, you relax your muscles and turn on your parasympathetic nervous system little by little (progressively).
Occupational therapy for parents and support groups
Occupational Therapy is another route you can benefit from. Specifically, while having a newborn at home, many moms experience the “Baby Blues” in the weeks after giving birth, and it is essential to get help as soon as you notice the symptoms.
If you can not afford a mental health provider, look for organizations within your community that offer a free support group for new parents. It can be helpful and alleviating to feel validated among other mothers who deal with similar emotions. If you already struggle with Post Partum Depression, this is a great place to start. In addition, view 4th Trimester Project and kids health for more helpful resources.
What other ways have you been coping with your stress and practicing self-care while caring for your baby?
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