Tips for moving with a baby.
Your living situation just changed, and you need to move, so what do you do if you have a young child or young children, and you don’t want them to feel completely uprooted? It can be really hard on young children to have to navigate a move. They might need to make new friends, learn a new routine, experience new noises in the house, etc.
When my oldest was two years old, we needed to move. I hadn’t even thought about her having trouble living in a new house. She had always been a very easy-going baby. The first night there, she could not be consoled. She cried for hours, and she wouldn’t let me comfort her. I felt like I had broken her.
After a while, she ended up falling asleep standing up leaning on the railing of her crib. It was heartbreaking! Not to mention, I was very nervous that by laying her down I would wake her up and start the whole process again. I was also shocked to discover that she was always talking about the “old house” and “new house” as if we were still going to be living at the old house again someday. She missed it!
When we had to move again, this time the move was much bigger, to a whole new country. And now we had a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old. Preparing them for this move was vital to them having a good experience.
Children are so resilient. As parents, it’s our job to help our children navigate their feelings, and help them to feel comfortable with changes. Here are my top tips for moving with a baby or young child..
Talk about the new place
Whether you’re moving down the street, to a new community, or to a new city, make sure you talk about everything they would want to know. Consider their age, of course. Tell them about the things that will be different, and the things that will be the same.
The more you talk about the whole situation, the more natural it’s going to feel. You want your child to know what to expect, and minimize the surprises that could be scary.
Things you could mention:
Where their new room will be in the house
Some fun new features in the house/their room
Where the new playgrounds are
How they will make friends
All of their favorite toys are coming
Keep up with the routine
Moving takes a lot of time and attention, but it’s really helpful if your child’s routine stays fairly normal through it all. Make sure your children’s bedtime and nap time routines as stable as possible. Sleep is an extremely powerful tool to help children maintain a healthy emotional state.
Travel time
If the move involves hotel stays or a long drive over nap time, make sure you have as much of their sleep environment accessible as possible. Bring the sound machine, some portable blackout shades, their favorite blankets, and stuffed animals, books, and even their usual shampoo and body wash. My 5-year-old really appreciated having her own pillow to use at the hotels.
The travel time can definitely be made into a fun adventure, but remember that they will be really uprooted when you arrive at your new home, so keeping their sleep a priority throughout the journey will be a tremendous help.
First night
Try to make the first night in their new home as typical as possible too. Let the mood slow down, and give them plenty of time to wind down. Make sure they have a chance to look around the whole house, get their bearings before bed, and figure out everything they might need to know in order to feel comfortable.
Show them where your room is, and where their bathroom is. Have them help unpack their favorite things, things they will want to see when they wake up. Make sure they know their morning routine will be the same too. Then do the bedtime routine as usual.
Give them a link from the old to the new
Packing is such a huge process. Through it all, children will see everything being put into boxes and might have no idea what that really means. Especially if you have some things being donated, thrown away, or sold. Keeping them involved can really help with this.
If you’re labeling boxes with where they are going in the new house, that can be really helpful to give your child an idea of the new house as it relates to the house they are leaving. My 5-year-old really loved labeling the boxes herself. It is also great to role play. Talk to items as if they are friends, and let your child talk to the item about how it might be feeling being put into a box to go to a new home. It doesn’t need to be complicated, just enough to make it more fun.
If your child is old enough to have made close friends, make sure they know how they will be able to communicate with those friends after the move. Kids love being pen pals. Also, reassure them know that they will meet new people and can make friends again after the move is important to talk about.
Remember, it will take some time
Remember that any move is an adjustment. You can do everything right, and prepare as much as possible, but your child will still need some time to get used to their new environment. Think of it as though you’ve all just had a major surgery. You’ll feel pretty good on the first day, but on day two or three things might start to feel a bit more difficult.
Take time to slow down, give your children as much attention as possible. Keep them involved, keep their routines, but also do easy activities. Don’t take on too much all at once. Unpack the main living spaces so that they can find, and put away, all of their favorite toys easily.
Be sure to allow yourself, and your family, to adapt at their own pace. You can do this! Happy moving!
Related articles:
Three ways your emotions impact your baby’s sleep.
Sleep schedules for babies: What to know.
Five ways mindfulness and your energy can transform your child's sleep.