Tips for siblings sharing a room
There are many benefits to siblings sharing a room, and for many families it is necessary in order to maximize space.
But there are also downsides to sibling room-sharing that can cause sleep disruptions and other struggles.
What if the two kids have different bedtimes? What if one wakes the other up during the night? What if they wake up at different times in the morning?
These are valid questions that can be confusing to navigate if your children are sharing a room, so we’ve broken them down for you with some suggestions that can help!
At what age is it okay for siblings to share a room?
I generally don’t recommend that babies share a room with a sibling until a MINIMUM of 6 months of age, but preferably until they are at least one. This is for several reasons… First, the AAP recommends that babies share a room with their parents until 6-12 months in order to prevent SIDS. Second, your baby is likely still taking a feed or two at night. With unpredictable night sleep in the first year of life, you don’t want those wakings to wake up the older sibling, too.
If you have twins, you likely have them both sharing a room, which is fine. Just try to handle night wakings by bringing the upset child out of the room so they don’t wake up their brother or sister.
How should you prepare for the transition of having siblings share a room?
Before you transition your kiddos into the same room, you will want to work on both of their sleep habits independently and make sure that neither child is experiencing sleep challenges or multiple night-wakings. Sleep should be fairly solid, with each child able to fall asleep on their own, able to self-soothe during wakings (see Five steps to teach your baby how to self-soothe), and needing minimal assistance from parents.
We also recommend that you put the cribs/beds on opposite sides of the room and put the white noise machine in the middle. It could also be necessary to double up on sound machines, with one next to one child and the second next to the other child. Basically, the white noise can be very helpful to prevent external noise from waking one or both children!
Some parents also find it beneficial to hang up a blanket or blackout curtain in between the two beds. This is only necessary if your two children tend to distract each other during the night, but it can be very helpful for this reason.
Do they need to have the same bedtime?
No, not at all. In fact, don’t try to force bedtime to be the same for both children if they are developmentally in different places. Honor their individual bedtimes (check here for our recommended bedtimes by age).
Besides messing with their natural sleep windows, putting babies and toddlers down at the same time can often cause distractions and stimulation, which you don’t want during your bedtime routine. It usually works best to put your younger child to sleep first, and then explaining to your older child the importance of staying quiet and going to sleep quickly. However, if your younger child is generally the easier and more behaved one, it may work better to put them down to sleep second, after the older one who generally has a harder time going to sleep (for tips on helping toddlers and older children go to bed easier, check out Five ways to overcome the bedtime battle).
What about wake-up time?
In the same way, your two children may not need to wake up at the same time in the morning. Children typically need 10-12 hours of sleep at night (see How much sleep does your child need?), and some usually fall on the lower end of that spectrum and some are at the higher end! Explain to your children that just because one of them is up in the morning does not mean that they get to wake up their sibling, who may need more sleep than they do. Encourage your children in toddler beds to sneak out of the room quietly after they wake up, and don’t keep very many accessible toys in the bedroom for this reason. Another option is to have an okay-to-wake clock (here’s our favorites!) that turns a certain color when it is okay for them to make noise, come out of bed, etc.
Sibling room-sharing can be a great solution when all of these things are considered. If you find that you are following all of these tips but your children continue to disrupt each other, it may be a better idea to separate them if possible or reach out to us for some one-on-one guidance!
Written by Melinda Muyargas & Rachel Mitchell
