What type of sleeper is your child?

May 18

It is no surprise that parents are tired. Whether you are in the thick of newborn exhaustion, parenting a toddler, or raising teenagers, I think we can all agree that more sleep is needed.

While there are likely many reasons why we are all so tired, trying to pin-point why and how to get your child to sleep more can be an exhausting undertaking. Many of us turn to the internet to try and solve our child’s sleep challenges, and there is hardly a shortage of information out there. The problem is, you may read an article that suggests one sleep method or theory and then the next tells you something completely opposite.

This is partly due to the fact that your child has his or her own set of unique sleeping patterns, and the science of sleep is not one size fits all. In fact, it can be somewhat puzzling, even for sleep experts.

Thankfully though, there are a few ways that you can identify what type of sleeper you have on your hands, pointing you in right direction when it comes to managing their sleep habits.

While not necessarily based all on science (but plenty of research and experience), I have comprised a list of three different profiles of sleepers that I have observed over the past ten years in this line of work.

You can read about them here, take your guess on what type of sleeper you think your child is, and then take the quiz here.

The sensitive sleeper

I have had many parents tell me they want their child to be able to sleep anywhere. In the car, on the go, at a party - they just want her to be able to go with the flow. Ironically, these parents often end up with a baby who can only sleep in their crib at the same time every day. While this is typically something you are able to tell pretty early on, it is very possible you aren’t aware how sensitive your baby really is.

Common characteristics of the sensitive sleeper:

Has difficulty sleeping anywhere except their own sleep environment
Isn’t able to sleep well in areas with many distractions and loud noises (such as a car, event, airport, etc.)
Appears to be very over-tired when missing a nap or bedtime (fussy, refuses to eat, rubs eyes, etc.)
Is stimulated easily by noises, sounds, and new places
Has a very difficult time going to sleep when over-tired and often will take a long time to fall asleep or will wake multiple times throughout naps/nighttime
Sleeps very well in their own environment and has a happy demeanor when they have gotten enough sleep
Is often predictable with naps and bedtime if they stay consistent (e.g will sleep two hours for every morning nap, and twelve hours every night)
Doesn’t respond well to rocking or being held in an attempt to soothe (arches back, continues to cry, doesn’t calm down)

Having this type of sleeper can be a blessing and can always be challenging. On the one hand, this type of baby will usually sleep long periods of time in the environment where he feels comfortable, but as soon as he misses a nap, forget it.

What to do

Stick to a consistent schedule and awake windows as often as possible. Pay attention to awake times and try not to miss naps or bedtime unless absolutely necessary. This doesn’t mean you have to be home-bound all the time, but the reality of having this type of sleeper is that your child is very sensitive to lack of sleep and you will all feel it when her sleep is compromised.
Replicate your child’s environment during travel. Bringing white noise, loveys, and other objects that can help your child feel “at home” can be really helpful when there are any shifts in his environment. Your child will likely still have some trouble adjusting, but creating a space that feels like home should lessen the effects of the change.
Plan activities around nap schedules and bedtime. Your life doesn’t have to revolve around your child’s sleep schedule, but when you have a very sensitive sleeper, you will likely choose this option to avoid meltdowns. There are plenty of ways to still participate in activities and fun events, but you just might have to leave a little earlier or plan for a babysitter if you know it will compromise your child’s sleep.
Be prepared for some crying. This type of child often needs you to just get out of the way. If you have a sensitive sleeper, it could take her a very long time to be consoled to go to sleep, especially when over-tired. I usually see that these babies might cry for a few minutes when put down initially, but typically it doesn’t escalate and the child falls asleep shortly after. What can happen with a sensitive sleeper, is the constant attempt to get baby to fall asleep could actually be overstimulating them. This doesn’t mean your baby should never be soothed by a caregiver, but a lot of the time your child may be overly-distracted by you being in the room and will have a harder time falling asleep if she is a sensitive sleeper.

The attached sleeper

All babies have some type of attachment to their parents, but the “attached sleeper” has an extra need to be soothed and close to their caregivers (which is normal, btw)

Common characteristics of the attached sleeper:

Typically is unable to fall asleep without being rocked, nursed, bounced, held, etc
Will often fall asleep while laying on you, in a stroller, in the car, and on-the-go
Has trouble falling asleep when put down awake and often gets worked up when left alone (possibly cries for long periods of time when attempting to learn self-soothing)
Can be a light sleeper; wakes up easily, especially on a transfer from arms to crib
Seems more attached during the day (often is upset when you leave the room)
Becomes attached easily to one or two soothing methods and rejects other forms of soothing
Will resist naps and bedtime, often without seeming cranky or over-stimulated

What to do

Offer soothing, but be mindful of the length of time it takes to soothe your child to sleep. Try to take breaks if it seems you are stuck in the room for very long periods of time trying to get your child to sleep
Encourage independent time throughout the day. Leave the room and always come back to get your child used to not being next to you at all times.
Be careful of letting your child become over-stimulated by crying or attempting to self soothe. This type of sleeper will often NEED your intervention in order to fall asleep or go back to sleep once they become very upset. You don’t want to let your baby become too worked up, but at the same time make sure you are giving your baby the opportunity to fall asleep during the periods where cries are not hysterical or hard.
Rotate soothing methods. Try not to use just one method (such as feeding or co-sleeping) in order to get your child to sleep. Cycle between rocking, soothing while in the crib, using the pacifier, etc.
Always use white noise or motion in order to help your child fall asleep.

This type of sleeper will often cling onto a certain soothing method or routine and become upset when things change. It is important to practice different ways of getting your baby to sleep, but realistically just understand that this is part of your child’s natural temperament. With this type of sleeper you want to nurture their need for the bond/attachment, but you want to make sure when doing so you are still promoting independence where possible. Typically this type of sleeper needs a more gradual approach as opposed to an abrupt one because it takes them longer to adjust.

The adaptable sleeper

The adaptable sleeper is the dream as a parent! Typically, this type of child loves sleep and will adapt to her environment in order to get the sleep she needs. The challenge is, this type of sleeper isn’t always predictable. Her patterns might change over time and she may have days that her sleep schedule throws you for a loop.

Common characteristics of the adaptable sleeper:

Will usually fall asleep easily and in any environment (although likely prefers her own crib/room)
Generally has a happy disposition
Seems to love sleep and usually doesn’t have a difficult time falling asleep or staying asleep. If he does wake up in the middle of the night, he will typically go back down easily
Isn’t as affected by missing naps or bedtime and will fall asleep on-the-go
Might suddenly refuse naps or take shorter naps, although mood doesn’t seem to change
Typically falls asleep easily at night and sleeps long stretches
May need some help soothing to sleep, but generally won’t wake on transfer to crib
Adjusts easily to travel and new environments
Generally seems easy-going and flexible

What to do

Even though your child may seem very adaptable, consistency is still important. Try and stick with a routine as often as possible
Try to avoid too much activity and on-the-go naps. Although your child might not seem phased by it, sleeping in her own environment is still best for healthy sleep
Understand your child might not need as much sleep as other babies or may be a very high sleep needs baby. If she wakes up after ten hours of sleep and seems fully rested, that is likely her unique sleep cycle. Still, encourage a minimum of one hour naps and ten hours of nighttime sleep, but don’t be surprised if she doesn’t go back to sleep if you attempt long sleep stretches
Pay attention to awake windows to make sure she isn’t being stretched too long. Since your baby is likely in a good mood most of the time, she may not show as obvious of sleepy signs

Of course, not all children will fall into one of these three categories, but I have found that most children lean towards at least one. Just like children start to adopt specific communication styles, our children also adopt sleeping styles. Understanding these styles will help you understand why she may not be responding to a certain method or environment and how you might be able to help her find her sweet spot.

It is so important for our children to get adequate sleep, especially in the crucial years of early development, and as parents we can help them do that!

After reading about these three profiles, what type of sleeper do you think your baby is? Take the sleeper profile quiz here in order to find out what sleep training method will work best for your child.

For guidance, feel free to contact us or try our newborn sleep course or 4-12 month sleep course.