How to calm back to school anxiety as a parent
The summer vacation means families get a much-needed respite from the busy school routine. We enjoy the slower days and cherish family time and relaxation, so when school returns, there is a significant shift in pace.
Transitioning back to school can be challenging for our little ones, but it can also be difficult for us. Packing lunches, school drop-offs, homework, and after-school activities fill up the schedule and can quickly leave you feeling overwhelmed.
At the same time, as kids head back to school in early autumn, parents are facing one particularly big challenge: anxiety.
As parents, we want our children to be healthy, safe, and supported when they attend school. However, with increasing school violence, bullying, and health concerns surrounding COVID-19, it is not surprising that a recent survey revealed that 85% of parents reported feeling anxious about their child returning to school.
So how can we calm back-to-school anxiety and help our kiddos transition back to the classroom?
Communicate with your kids
Research shows when parents discuss emotions with children and use these conversations as an opportunity to teach ways to manage them, it improves the development of emotional regulation.
For example, talking to your child about school safety issues surrounding back-to-school anxiety can help them feel prepared and reduce any stress or fear they may be experiencing. With that said, this is a delicate conversation, and it’s essential to keep your child's age in mind to avoid scaring them.
Mental Health America offers the following suggestions when talking to your child:
Encourage children to express their concerns and feelings – You can prompt a discussion by asking age-appropriate questions about how safe they feel at school.
Talk honestly about your feelings – While we don't want our children to be aware of every anxious thought, it’s healthy for them to see that adults experience anxiety and stress, too. It makes them feel less alone in their concerns and gives them permission to feel those feelings and learn how to manage them.
Validate your child's feelings – It is essential that your child feels heard and understood. You can then help them move through these feelings by discussing school safety plans and encouraging them to focus on the positive experiences of being back in the classroom.
Create safety plans with your child – Discuss an individual safety plan ensuring your child knows which adults they can talk to if they feel threatened at school.
Keep communication going – Make sure your child knows that talking about their feelings and anxiety is a priority for you. Creating a safe and open dialogue will encourage your child to share any concerns as they arise.
See a therapist
Instilling a sense of calm in your child can be challenging if your own anxiety feels overwhelming. Our kids look to us for cues about how to interpret the environment around them. That means children pick up on their parent's fears and use that information to determine their own level of safety: evidence suggests that children of anxious parents are more likely to experience anxiety themselves.
With that said, this is not the time to entertain feelings of guilt. If you’re experiencing back-to-school anxiety, seeking the help of a therapist can be very beneficial. While a professional may not be able to remove your fears entirely, they can equip you with the tools you need to manage your anxiety.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
This is a common type of talk therapy that helps you identify inaccurate or negative thinking to enable you to view and respond to challenging situations more effectively. CBT is an effective tool in the treatment of anxiety, and many therapists offer it.
Stress tolerance strategies
A therapist may also teach you strategies for managing your stress and anxiety day to day. Many parents find that as their stress tolerance improves, they can support the development of their child's stress responses, as well.
Reduce your stress
While it may sound easier said than done, it is possible to reduce stress around any back to school anxiety you are experiencing. Practicing self-care as a parent is essential, and it is healthy for our children to see us prioritizing our mental health and well-being.
Here are some suggestions for reducing your stress. Find what works for you and incorporate it into your daily routine.
Meditation and mindfulness – Even a 10-minute meditation can help calm anxiety, and practicing mindfulness can increase your ability to be present in the current moment. When we bring our attention back to the present, it reduces anxious thoughts that are predominantly future based.
Exercise – Research shows that physical movement can reduce stress and anxiety.
Quality sleep – Prioritizing sleep is vital for the entire family. A lack of sleep can increase the risk of anxiety and reduce your stress tolerance.
Activities that bring you joy – Read a book, listen to your favorite music, or take a relaxing bath.
Lean on a support system
Parenting is never easy. Maybe that’s partly why it’s so rewarding. We make decisions every day that impact the health and happiness of these precious little beings in our care. With everything happening in the world, it is understandable that you may be feeling heightened anxiety when it comes to protecting your kids.
If you are experiencing back-to-school anxiety, know that you are not alone and that there are professionals ready to help you navigate these odd times. Set up a support system by engaging a therapist to learn healthy coping strategies, prioritize self-care, and ensure you and your kiddos get quality sleep.
If you would like more information on how to improve sleep for you and your family, reach out to the team at My Sweet Sleeper. We offer one-on-one personalized consultations and opportunities to connect with other parents in group coaching sessions.
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