How to transition from co-sleeping for every age
Whether it’s those midnight cuddles with a newborn or the pure need for some sleep amidst the initial chaos, co-sleeping can quickly become a way of life for many families. Parents might co-sleep out of necessity, or it can be a conscious choice to promote attachment. Regardless of how this journey begins, there often comes a point when the dynamics need to change.
Perhaps there’s a new baby on the way, disrupted sleep cycles, or simply a desire to reclaim your sleeping space. No matter the reason or your child’s age, transitioning from co-sleeping to independent sleeping can be daunting and filled with mixed emotions.
But don’t worry, mama. This change can be navigated smoothly with understanding, patience, and age-appropriate strategies.
Bed-sharing vs. room-sharing: An essential distinction
The term “co-sleeping” often encompasses two distinct practices—bed-sharing and room-sharing, each with unique considerations. Bed-sharing refers to sharing your sleeping space directly with your child, while room-sharing involves having your child sleep independently in the same room, either in a crib or a separate bed.
Both practices have different implications and safety considerations. For instance, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises against bed-sharing with infants under one due to the increased risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). On the other hand, room-sharing can actually reduce this risk.
Navigating the transition
The transition from co-sleeping to independent sleeping is a unique journey, one that unfolds differently at every age. The key to a successful transition lies in tailoring your approach to match your child’s developmental stage, needs, and personality.
Whether you’re guiding an infant, a toddler, or a preschooler toward independent sleep, there are age-specific strategies that can make the process smoother and less stressful.
Babies under one year
Navigating the transition from co-sleeping to independent sleeping for babies under one is a gradual and thoughtful process. The first step is to create a separate, soothing, and safe environment for your baby. Make sure the new room is well-equipped, quiet, and comfortable, providing a relaxing space that feels secure.
It’s beneficial to begin familiarizing your baby with their new room during waking hours. Spend quality time together there, engaging in play, reading a book, or just having a quiet cuddle. This approach ensures that the room becomes a familiar and comforting space for them.
To smooth the transition, begin by introducing daytime naps in your baby’s room. Once they become comfortable with this, start to include nighttime sleep. This strategy eases the change by introducing it slowly and during periods of the day when your baby might be more relaxed.
Toddlers one to three years
The toddler years are a period of exploration and asserting independence, making it an opportune time to introduce your toddler to their own bed. During this phase, your child’s participation in the process is key. Discuss the upcoming change with them, and allow them to be part of setting up their room and choosing bed linen.
Encourage them by turning this transition into a celebration of their growing independence. Start with daytime naps in their new bed and slowly graduate to nighttime sleep. Consistency in the bedtime routine will also aid the transition.
Preschoolers three to five years
As your child grows into their preschool years, their budding imagination presents unique opportunities for transitioning from co-sleeping to independent sleeping. Here are a few practical tips to guide you through this phase:
Storytelling—Create an engaging story around the transition, perhaps featuring a favorite character from a book or TV show who also sleeps independently. Children at this age are very imaginative, and transforming the transition into an exciting tale can make the concept more relatable and fun for your child.
Bedtime buddy—Introduce a ‘bedtime buddy’ into your child’s sleep routine. This could be a soft toy, a blanket, or any item your child is particularly fond of. Having a comforting item can provide a sense of safety and familiarity when they’re alone in their bed.
Decorate their space—Allow your preschooler to contribute to personalizing their sleep environment. They can choose their own bed linen, decide where to place their toys, or even select the color of a night light. This helps them feel more connected to their new sleeping space, and they’ll look forward to spending time there.
Bedtime routine—Maintain a consistent bedtime routine. This could involve a warm bath, reading a favorite book, or sharing highlights of the day. The predictability of a routine provides reassurance and signals to your child that it’s time to wind down and sleep.
Expecting nighttime challenges
As you venture on this journey of transitioning from co-sleeping, it’s vital to anticipate that nighttime challenges will likely occur. Even with meticulous planning and preparation, there can be hiccups along the way. Knowing what to expect and having strategies in place can help you navigate these bumps more smoothly.
It’s important to note that getting your child to sleep in their bed for the first time is only half the battle. The real challenge can often be ensuring they stay in bed throughout the night. Even the most seamless transitions can encounter night wakings as your child adjusts to their new sleep arrangement.
Dealing with night wakings
It’s completely natural for your child to wake up in the middle of the night during the initial stages of this transition. The unfamiliar surroundings might startle them, and their instinct will likely be to seek out the comfort and security they’re accustomed to—being close to you.
When this happens, it might be tempting to revert to co-sleeping, especially when everyone is tired. However, doing so can confuse your child and potentially hinder their progress. Instead, stick to your plan and gently guide your child back to their room.
Try to keep your interactions calm, brief, and as unexciting as possible. The aim is to reassure them without fully waking them or stimulating them. Providing comfort and even repeating elements of the bedtime routine, such as a quick lullaby or reassuring pat, can be beneficial.
In the case of recurring night wakings, a transitional object, such as a favorite soft toy or blanket, can offer your child a source of comfort. This self-soothing tool can help them feel safe and secure in their own room, reducing their need to seek comfort from you.
Patience and consistency are key
Embarking on the journey from co-sleeping to independent sleeping is a significant milestone in your child’s life. It requires a gentle touch of patience, understanding, and unwavering support from you, their loving guide.
The transition signifies more than a change in sleeping arrangements—it’s a celebration of growing independence. While this journey may present challenges, it’s an opportunity for your child to build resilience and self-confidence.
Each child’s adjustment pace will vary, and that’s perfectly okay. This journey is not a race—it’s about acknowledging your child’s comfort and readiness. With your consistent love and support, your little one will progressively embrace this new stage of sleeping independently.
At My Sweet Sleeper, we’re here to guide you through these unique milestones. From personalized coaching to self-paced virtual classes, we provide resources tailored to your little one’s needs.
Reach out to us to explore how we can support your family to sleep more sweetly.
Related Articles:
Bed sharing with your baby: best practices
How to help your baby sleep in their crib or bassinet
How to get a toddler to sleep in their own bed after co-sleeping.
