Why is my baby waking up so much at night?
How to handle middle of the night wake-ups is something that nobody can prepare for, despite how many warnings you received before becoming a parent.
And the truth is, if we were told that sleeping in increments of 45 minutes at a time and trying to function as a normal human being was part of the parenting job description, we likely wouldn’t have believed it!
Waking up mid-sleep cycle at all hours of the night to tend to your baby is rough, and even though it is normal for babies and adults to wake up as we transition cycles, we don’t always get the luxury of going right back to sleep.
That is the main difference between our night wakings and a baby’s. As adults, we want and know how to fall back asleep when we are awoken prematurely, but not all babies do.
As we transition from one sleep cycle to the next, entering in and coming out of REM and non-REM sleep, it is common to at least partially wake up. In a 2010 study of more than 22,000 people, 31% said that they remember waking up at least three nights each week. In a 2008 study, 23% said they wake up at least once each night.
By the age of 5-6 months, babies are capable of sleeping 10-12 consecutive hours, assuming they have no health issues. However, this doesn’t mean all babies will do this, and it’s normal for infants 12 months and younger to wake 2-3 times per night for various reasons.
But if your child is waking every 1-2 hours this is concerning, and is an indication something deeper is going on that needs to be addressed.
Let's look at a few of the most common reasons for night wakings:
1) Your baby isn’t going to bed at the right time.
Finding the right bedtime for your child can sometimes feel like a constant math equation, and truthfully it does take a bit of trial and error to find the right window for your baby. If your baby is going to bed too early, they may wake up throughout the night due to lack of sleep pressure needed to help them enter deep sleep, and if your baby goes to bed too late, it can cause them to become overtired and wake due to elevated cortisol levels. Similar to naptime, you want to try and find that sweet spot based on your child’s awake windows, development stage, activity level, and unique sleep needs.
2) Your response to wake-ups is inconsistent
As mentioned above, you should expect your child to wake up throughout the night, but the key is what do those wake-ups looks like. If your child displays the ability to fall asleep and back to sleep on their own-great! But for most babies, they need intervention and help settling. This is developmentally normal for infants (and even most toddlers) and you should never feel bad about responding to your infant when they need soothing. However, you do want to try and respond in a way that isn’t stimulating your child or causing wake-ups to continue. For example, if you are feeding for every single wake-up, this could actually be one of the reasons your baby wakes up all night, because their body becomes used to receiving calories all night long. Instead, try feeding for 1-2 wake-ups, and respond by rocking or soothing them while still in the crib for the others. Whatever you decide to do though, being consistent from night to night is important so you can get into a rhythm that works for both you and your baby to get back to sleep quickly.
3) Your child isn't getting enough sleep during the day.
Sleep promotes sleep, so contrary to what you may have heard, your child is not likely to sleep well at night if he isn't sleeping well during the day. Adequate naps contribute a great deal to the quality of your child's nighttime sleep, so making sure she is getting enough daytime sleep and that nap times are appropriate is key. You can find awake times by age in this article.
4) Your baby is hungry.
Despite what you may have read/heard, it is still common for babies to wake up due to hunger in the first year of life. You just want to make sure if this is the case that your baby is actually hungry and not waking just to pacify. If your baby is older than six months old and has no issues with weight gain, one night waking to feed is still “normal,” but three is likely not. You want to make sure your baby takes adequate day feedings and isn’t relying on night feeds to get their calories, so if you are confident they are, night feedings should be limited.
5) There is an external factor waking your baby up.
Loud startling noises, the temperature being too cold or hot, or bright lights coming into your baby’s sleep space are all external factors that could be waking your baby and keeping them up. This is why using a white noise machine, making sure the room is completely dark for all sleep, and monitoring the temperature in your baby’s room is super important! This is especially true for sensitive sleepers that are easily startled and stimulated. While you might not have full control of external factors causing your baby to wake-up, do your best to limit startling noises and lights and read our tips here for setting up a sleep-promoting nursery. Similarly, if your baby is six months or older, you may consider moving them to their own room to help eliminate distractions if they are especially sensitive to noises.
6) Your child is going through a developmental progression.
Throughout the first couple years of life, babies experience a lot of developmental leaps, progressions, and milestones- all which can affect sleep! From rolling over, to crawling, sitting up, and teething, babies seem to be a in a constant stage of change, which isn’t always great news for sleep. Inevitably when your child is learning a new skill or reaching an important milestone, their sleep is going to be affected, and the best thing you can do to help support them through this stage is to give them space and time to practice that new skill. This is best to do during awake periods, but sometimes even at the start of bedtime or end of naptime to allow them space to get those wiggles out and try out the exciting thing they just figured out they can do! if they don’t get that time outside of sleep periods, you can be they will use sleep periods to try and show off their new moves!
7) Your child is experiencing a true regression
A lot of the set-backs that babies experience during the first year of life aren’t actually due to a regression, but a progression as mentioned above. However, there are some actual regressions that can cause your baby to wake-up such as illness, traveling, teething, etc. These are things that are often out of your control and you have to sort of “ride out”. Consistency is again important there but it is most important that you don’t make any huge changes during a regression (such as suddenly co-sleeping) which can cause your child to further regress.
While these are a few of the most common reasons your child is waking at night, there are many other root issues that could be causing this sleep challenge. We cover ALL of these issues AND the ways to manage them in our newborn and 4-12 month sleep courses here. These courses are affordable, module-based and allow you to go at your own pace so you can apply the tips you're learning as your child adjusts. If you are seeking more one-on-one support that is also an option. You can book a free discovery call with any of our consultants here to determine the best support package for your family.
Related articles:
Five reasons your baby is waking so much at night
How to help establish healthy habits for your newborn
The truth about the cry-it-out method & sleep training
Is sleep training really necessary?