How to survive sleep deprivation & thrive with your partner
Experiencing sleep deprivation with a newborn is like a rite of passage for new parents. But running on fumes while juggling all kinds of responsibilities takes a serious toll on your personal health as well as your relationship with your partner.
As new parents, you’re experiencing a wild array of emotions together: you’re tired yet elated, overwhelmed yet overjoyed, and totally exhausted yet totally in love. It’s a time like no other, and it takes a little extra work on top of everything else to make sure you keep growing together through it all.
So, how exactly can you team up to manage sleep deprivation and avoid one or both of you burning out in these exciting first few months of parenthood? For all of the complexities of baby sleep, getting adequate rest as a new mom or new dad is just as challenging, if not more so.
To help you get through it all, we’ve compiled a few important tips for how to survive sleep deprivation alongside your partner so that you both can thrive—not just survive—as new parents.
1. Share the workload as equally as possible
Moms are inevitably the most hands-on with newborns due to breastfeeding, but it’s possible to split the rest of the work evenly between partners. This includes things like taking shifts so that each parent enjoys a few hours of uninterrupted sleep while the other cares for the baby, whether it’s during a midday nap or evening wakeups.
If your baby isn’t sleeping soundly, try addressing the underlying issue there to relieve the exhaustion of those extra-long nights. Your fatigue is inextricably tied to theirs, and an investment in their sleep is an investment in everyone’s!
Take Shifts
While new parents deserve ample time off to catch their breath after bringing home an infant, it’s not always feasible. However, organizing the workload in a way that lets you both recoup some ZZZs on an alternating schedule is a viable option. Maximizing sleep with a newborn is crucial to making sure that everyone in your home is well-rested and energized for the mountain of activities that await the following day. You can’t be at your best without the right amount of rest!
Helping one another regardless of this proposed schedule obviously makes a big difference too. Even if your partner is on “baby duty,” you can assist by handling supplies or tending to household necessities to reduce your shared stress—once you’ve gotten enough sleep, of course. As odd as it sounds, lowering expectations around things like housework or other nonessential jobs will conserve energy for more pressing tasks (such as sleeping!).
Rely on Your Partner
New mothers require more hours of rest than fathers do, especially given the specific impact of sleep deprivation on their ability to function normally. Don’t set yourself up for failure by doing too much, too soon: you have a partner in this. Rely on them!
Lean on Family and Friends
Finally, don’t forget that it truly does take a village to raise a child. If friends or family offer help, accept it. Whether it’s someone bringing over a meal, handling the dirty laundry, or watching your newborn while you tend to yourself for a bit, these gestures add up to make a big difference, so lean on your inner circle for support. Your partner should do the same.
And keep in mind that this is just one phase of many you’ll go through together as parents. The trials of newborn parenthood are intense but temporary. Interrupted sleep comes with the territory, though you’re more capable of minimizing those interruptions than it might seem. Your little one will get the hang of a regular sleep routine in no time.
2. Create a positive sleep environment for everyone
The benefits of optimizing your bedroom for quality rest are innumerable. We often worry about the baby’s comfort while neglecting our own, but be sure you’re also in a nice room for your “off-shift” sleeping. If you want to know how to survive sleep deprivation, it starts with cultivating a relaxing sleep space. A few ways you can improve your surroundings for better sleep include:
Buying blackout curtains
Opting for earplugs or an eye mask
Trying a white noise or sound machine
Adjusting the temperature
Using comfortable bedding
Safe sleep practices for your infant promote better sleep for them and, in turn, you and/or your partner. In order for everybody to rest and recharge properly, it’s useful to revise any unhealthy sleep habits that are holding your family back. For instance, if you have a toddler and the new baby is disrupting their sleep patterns in addition to yours, you can reassess their nighttime routines to be more harmonious based on the baby’s unique sleep schedule.
For parents struggling to sleep well, detriments such as late-night screen usage or a lack of a relaxing bedtime ritual hinder your efforts. If you want to set strong foundations for healthy sleep for your little one going forward, lead by example! You and your partner deserve good sleep, and it’s achievable through conscious planning.
Napping and other opportunities to snooze are also worth capitalizing on. When the baby naps, follow suit rather than using the downtime to do chores or work, as tempting as it may be. Short, restorative naps significantly boost your alertness and mood, which we could all use—particularly during the early days of parenthood!
3. Extend care and compassion to your partner and yourself
As most of us have learned by now, relationships are built on many tenets: love, trust, honesty, commitment, and, perhaps most importantly, communication. Becoming parents doesn’t mean the end of your roles as partners. It certainly redefines your lives forever, but the same principles of maintaining a healthy relationship hold true.
Communicate openly about how you’re feeling. Since a lack of sleep tends to make us grumpy and irritable, it’s essential to talk through your frustrations and misunderstandings. Thoughtfully caring for your relationship keeps the passion alive, regardless of the dirty diapers and milk-stained clothes. It helps to find small chances to show appreciation for each other, even if it’s just a sweet text, hug, or laugh.
Similar to sleep shift scheduling, date nights and the continuation of fun activities that give you intimate time together go a long way. Get a grandparent to babysit and focus on your partner for a few hours. These intentional moments of connection matter. You’re both dependent on each other to get enough sleep, but beyond that, you’re two people in love who just had a baby. How awesome is that?!
In this same vein, self-care becomes absolutely vital. Take a hot shower, get some fresh air, pour yourself a cup of coffee—whatever lifts your spirits amidst caring for a newborn, do it! Prioritize giving yourself extra kindness and patience as you learn the ropes. It’s going to be tough, but as long as you actively de-stress to prevent burnout, you’ll be able to balance caring for your baby, your partner, and yourself.
Consult a pediatric sleep specialist for extra support
Although there’s so much to think about as a new parent, you shouldn’t have to stress about sleeping well. If you, your partner, or your infant are finding it difficult to strike a balance as a family of three, you might consider reaching out to a pediatric sleep consultant.
My Sweet Sleeper has a dedicated team of sleep experts who specialize in assisting families with young children get the sleep they need to thrive. Together, you and your partner can finally rest easy knowing that you have professional help on your side. We pride ourselves on working one-on-one with parents and their babies so that everyone has sweet dreams.
Whatever questions you have or concerns you’re hoping to quell, My Sweet Sleeper is there for you. Wondering how to survive sleep deprivation? Look no further—we’ve got your back! Schedule your consultation today.
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