Five signs that your child is ready to sleep independently
As soon as we become parents and realize what it truly means to feel sleep-deprived, we long for the night when we will one day be able to sleep uninterrupted once again. And if you’re in the thick of exhaustion, you have likely taken to the internet to try and figure out how to get your baby to sleep all night (which will give you all sorts of conflicting “advice”).
However, before you rush into trying in to getting your little one to sleep independently, it is important to make sure that they are truly ready. First, everyone’s definition of “independent sleep” is slightly different. Some may assume this means baby falls asleep on their own both at the on-set of sleep and for middle of the night wakings, and for others they may equate this with baby sleeping in their own sleep space (as in a crib or bassinet).
Here we will discuss primarily how to help your baby sleep without the need for constant intervention throughout the night and some signs that indicate your child is ready…
Your baby is an appropriate age.
While there is no magic number that tells you when it is time to practice more independence with your baby, there are a few signs that indicate they may be ready. Age isn't the only sign that your child is ready, but it is an important factor! Babies in the newborn or early infant stage should not be expected to sleep through the night without feeds or to learn independent skills just yet, as they are simply not developmentally ready. Their sleep cycles are lengthening, their circadian rhythm is kicking in, feeding schedules are being established, and more.
So although a friend may tell you about their 3-month-old sleeping through the night, that is not something you should expect or even strive for. Newborns and young infants still need calories at night, and do not typically have the ability to fall asleep without assistance when they wake up between sleep cycles. If you have a newborn or young infant, wait until at least 5/6 months before focusing on more independence. If you’re looking for help before then, our newborn class can help set those healthy foundations before you start this process.
Your child has an independent sleep space.
Helping a child focus on independent sleep who is sleeping in the same bed as their parents can be a challenge. While we certainly work with families who are wanting to transition from co-sleeping, we do follow the AAP guidelines of safe sleep practices. Therefore, we recommend that your baby sleeps in a crib or bassinet (aside from the occasional contact or stroller nap), rather than in the bed with parents.
If you’re having trouble getting your baby to sleep in their crib and you often resort to bed-sharing out of desperation check out this article- Three reasons your baby won’t sleep in their crib & what to do about it.
Your child is gaining weight and growing without concern.
Because the process of approaching more independence often includes helping to lengthen night stretches by reducing night feeds, we want to ensure you have the thumbs up from your pediatrician to do so without concern. Some babies, even at 5-7 months, need to continue receiving calories at night to help with their growth. However, take note: Just because your baby drinks the whole bottle or takes both breasts during night feedings does not necessarily mean that they need it. This is a conversation to have with your pediatrician if you are concerned, and evaluate whether or not you think your baby truly needs to continue to feed overnight.
For related tips, see How and when to drop a night feed.
Your child has shown some independence already.
If your baby has fallen asleep on their own and/or put themselves back to sleep after a wake-up, that is a sign that they are capable and may be able to do this more frequently. Now is a great time to build off of that!
Remember that we can’t force independence so if your baby hasn’t shown any signs of being able to fall back asleep on their own, it may mean they simply aren’t ready. While you can certainly still try, it is important to meet babies where they are developmentally.
Our 4-12 month class and sleeping through the night guide deal with this issue in detail!
All areas of sleep foundations have been addressed.
Before you start practicing independent sleep, four foundational things should be in place.
Routines are established
Sleep environment is consistent, independent, dark, and with white noise
Proper nutrition is established
Appropriate awake windows are followed
In fact, sometimes addressing these four foundations is all you need to do, and nothing else is really needed!
Consider your child’s temperament
If your child is a very attached baby that rarely shows independence during or outside of sleep periods, then it may mean you have an attached sleeper on your hands. While again, you can still practice independence, you should just be aware that it may be a lot harder with this type of baby. Typically sensitive and adaptable sleepers actually prefer to sleep more independently so it is important to understand your baby’s natural temperament and whether or not they will take to this process.
It is equally important that you go into this process with realistic expectations, which includes time and consistency. While this does not need to be a rigid process, you do need to make sure that it is something you’re ready for, and that includes transitioning from bed-sharing if that is something you’re currently doing.
If this whole process seems daunting, feel free to reach out to us if you want a more personalized plan or any specific advice!
Related:
Is sleep teaching really necessary?
Consider purchasing:
Your Child’s Guide to Sleeping Through the Night
Newborn sleep course
4-12 Month sleep course
