Why modeling behavior for toddlers is important.
Have you ever experienced an embarrassing moment with your toddler where they inappropriately yell out a phrase you frequently use at home? And at that moment, you are acutely reminded that your little one is always watching and listening to everything you do?
You're not alone. Toddlers are very dedicated little students and are capable of remembering everything their parents say and do. They look up to the big people in their lives and use imitation to learn how to interact with the world.
Dr. Montessori explains this phenomenon beautifully in her book, The Child in the Family…
"The child is sensitive and impressionable to such a degree that the adult ought to monitor everything he says and does, for everything is literally engraved in the child's mind."
No pressure, right?
In all seriousness, modeling behavior for toddlers is not about being perfect. In fact, there is great merit in teaching your toddler the value of mistakes and how to overcome life's challenges.
So, relax, take a deep breath, and let's explore how to use behavior modeling with your toddler in a positive way.
What is behavioral modeling?
Behavioral modeling is a natural learning process where a person observes the behavior of another and then imitates that behavior. It is also known as observational learning or social learning. Modeling doesn't require direct instruction and may be used to teach a new behavior or influence the frequency of existing behavior.
There are four steps in the process of behavior modeling.
Attention-Your little one is observing what you are doing.
Retention-They are able to understand and remember your behavior.
Reproduction-Your kiddo attempts to replicate the behavior.
Motivation-This is what drives your little one to imitate the behavior and may include admiration for the person they are copying or an expectation of a reward for the modeled behavior.
Which behaviors do toddlers model?
Toddlers are more likely to model behavior where they have observed a positive reinforcement attached to the action. For example, if your little one witnesses another child, like an older sibling, helping to clean the house and being praised for their efforts, they are more likely to try and imitate this behavior.
Unfortunately, this stands for negative behaviors as well. For example, if your toddler witnesses aggressive behavior that had a positive outcome, they are more likely to use aggressive behavior in an attempt to get what they want.
Toddlers commonly model the behavior of parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers, as well as puppets, cartoons, television, and movie characters.
How to use modeling to teach positive behaviors
You are your child's very first teacher! Behavior modeling is an excellent opportunity for you to exhibit positive behavior and values for your kiddo. And remember, modeling behavior for toddlers doesn't require direct instruction. It's about all the little actions you take every day.
Monkey see monkey do: Be a good role model
Your little one is always watching and learning, so make sure what they observe is in line with the behaviors and expectations you have for your child.
Here are some great examples of behaviors you can model for your toddler.
Good manners
Sharing with others
Honesty
Identifying feelings
Problem-solving
Using a calm voice
Healthy eating habits
Learning from mistakes
Treating people with kindness and respect
Of course, this is just a short list, and you are likely already modeling these behaviors daily for your kiddo.
Focus on the positives
Sometimes we get a little too focused on the behavior we don't want to see in our children. Toddlers are renowned for pushing boundaries, and it's natural to find yourself saying "no" and "don't" all day.
But remember, one of the four elements of behavior modeling is motivation. Your kiddo will want to imitate behaviors that have positive reinforcement. So be sure to acknowledge positive behaviors in your child and other people.
Catch your little ones doing the right thing and take the time to praise them immediately so they associate the behavior with positive reinforcement.
Avoid exposure to negative behavior
As much as we might like to try, we can't completely control our kiddos' environment and experience of the world. We just have to do our best to surround our children with positive role models and limit their exposure to negative influences, including television, movies, or games that may not be developmentally appropriate.
Use negative situations as a teaching opportunity
Although we do our best to avoid negative influences, your kiddo will inevitably witness and experience undesirable behavior. When this happens, use it as an opportunity to teach them. Communicate openly about why the behavior was unacceptable and offer your little one an example of positive behavior that would have resulted in a better outcome.
Modeling positive sleep behavior
Modeling behavior for toddlers plays an important role in their social and emotional development. But the behavior we model for our kiddos can also impact their physical and mental health. A perfect example of this is sleep.
It's essential that parents model healthy sleep hygiene for their little ones. Try to prioritize sleep, follow a consistent bedtime routine, and limit the use of screens at night. These three steps can help your kiddo identify and establish positive sleep behavior and expectations.
With that said, bedtime battles are common in toddlerhood as they push the boundaries and seek control. So if your little one needs support establishing positive sleep habits, contact the team at My Sweet Sleeper today and let us help you and your family sleep more sweetly.
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