My journey with sleep teaching & my daughter

Dec 8

I can confidently and truthfully say that teaching my daughter independent sleep skills changed my life. It changed me as a mother, as a wife, as a friend and as a working professional. I gave the gift of good quality, restorative sleep to my child, and in return I had a happy baby who was developing well and hitting all of her milestones. As an added bonus, she got two parents who were the best versions of themselves because they weren’t running on empty. My experience with sleep training is not particularly unique, but if you are reading this because you are on the fence about implementing healthy sleep habits in your child's life, I am here to tell you that it was the best parental decision that I have yet to make.

Long before I became a certified sleep consultant, I always loved sleep. There is nothing better than waking up after a solid eight hours of sleep and feeling like you can take on the world. While I was pregnant with our daughter, who is now about to turn two, I was told that I would never sleep again. The thought terrified me, but I am the type of person who worries about things when I need to. During the first few months of my daughter's life I thought I had gotten lucky. I had a great little sleeper! My healthy little baby slept wherever and whenever. She started sleeping five to six hour stretches at night early on, and after a bit of practice she liked sleeping in her bassinet. Life was good!

Fast forward to 4.5 months when things took a drastic turn. My once sound sleeping baby began waking up every hour at night, rejecting her sleep space and refusing naps. I became a human pacifier. I was exhausted and miserable. I resented my husband for not having breasts, and there was no amount of coffee that could help dig me out of the sleepless hole that I was in. We were hit with the dread 4 month sleep progression, and we were hit hard!

I began by reaching out to moms that I knew for advice asking, “How can I make this stop? What am I doing wrong? Is this going to be my life now?” Every mother I spoke to said the same thing: it’s time to sleep train. I had heard of the term but was unfamiliar with what it really meant and had no idea where to start. I did what every sleep deprived mother does at 3am - I turned to Google. I researched and I learned all about baby sleep science. I learned about how nutrition and sleep go hand in hand. I learned about how to set up a healthy sleep environment for my child, and how to implement a nap time and bedtime routine. I learned about awake windows and scheduling and the importance of teaching self soothing skills. I soaked in all of the knowledge I could, and then relayed everything I learned to my husband. I focused on full feeds throughout the day, I taped garbage bags to the windows and we made a plan about how we were going to tackle nighttime wakeups.

I will be the first to tell you that it was not an easy process. It took hard work, dedication and consistency. Some nights were harder than others, and sometimes it felt like we were taking steps back instead of steps forward. I knew that I was doing the right thing for all of us, but you tend to doubt yourself in the middle of night through all the tears (mostly mine). I knew that I could help, love and support my daughter through this process. I did not leave her in the crib to cry for hours on end unattended. I responded to her when she needed me too, I reassured her and I helped her to learn new skills.

Sleep training was the hardest yet most rewarding experience, and as silly as this might sound, it is one of the things I am most proud of as a mother. I am proud of my daughter and proud of myself. We did this together! It took about a week (although it felt like a lifetime) for it to click, and my daughter was falling asleep independently and connecting sleep cycles at night. My husband and I had our evenings back, we were sleeping again and we were the best parents we could be because of it. Life was good!

Even now as a sleep consultant, I have to remind myself that a child's sleep is not linear - it ebbs and flows. We still have rocky patches (hello toddlerhood) and need to come back to sleep foundations when we are struggling. Even though this age brings on a brand new set of sleep challenges, we have set our daughter up with success with good sleep foundations and independent sleep skills.

You do not need to be a victim to sleepless nights, and anyone telling you there is nothing you can do to help your child sleep simply does not know the facts. We all need sleep to rejuvenate, grow, restore, develop and function at their best and do not be afraid to make the deliberate choice of sleep for your family!

For more tips, feel free to reach out to us for help, or look into our 4-12 month sleep guide and online class.

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